Exercise #16

Good Evening one and all- or maybe just my loyal reader Mrs. Batty ūüėÄ

The weather finally took a nice turn today and it was sunny, 72F, and breezy in the national capital- a nice change from oppressively humid (this is a swamp) and in the mid to high 90’s.¬† As I walked into the office around noon I actually found myself wanting to skip and run to Great Falls and walk around the trail for a while.¬† This didn’t happen and I am now wishing for a hike in a mild, mountainous location Maybe do some terrain research in the Colorado Rockies????

Either way- here is the next exercise!

Exercise #16-  Describe something you love to do.

I’ve been asking myself this question for the past year and a half or so and I still don’t have an answer to the question-¬†What do you love to do.¬† I have a LOT of hobbies.¬† I knit, I crochet, I write, I read, I sing, I sew, I cook and I day-dream.¬† These are not very productive skills when it comes to a career I’d guess, but meh-¬†These are the things that can usually get me excited.¬† The though of making a dinner for 10-20 people in a nice setting gets me so excited that I can hardly contain myself.¬† I nearly drove one of my friends crazy last Thanksgiving when she asked me to help with the dinner and I hijacked the whole thing nearly two months ahead of time.¬† In my defense-¬†we had a tight budget and a small kitchen to do dinner for 20, and for all intents and purposes it went off without any crazy issues.¬† When I start to get into the holiday spirit- I think about what project I will knit/crochet for my family and friends and I get giddy.¬† I’m not deluding myself that these creations will get a heck of a lot of use, but I like to do it anyway.¬†

So, what do I love?¬† How would I describe it?¬† One thing that I’ve loved wince I was very young is writing.¬† My journals were my only friends a lot of the time and they were the only place where I could say admit the things that I was feeling.¬† I have not been a loyal journaler to my many half filled blank books.¬† After a certain time, I think that I got bored with the repetitive nature of what I was documenting.¬† The only feelings that I wouldn’t tell anyone were about loneliness, inadequacy, pain, and longing.¬† Those things that felt like if I let them pass through my lips that I was admitting to some kind of failure or damning them to either come true or not depending upon whatever the opposite of what I wanted was.

In the second grade, those were the Connecticut years, I discovered that I liked to write.¬† Mrs. Collazo had a creative writing class that she taught and she really seemed to like my stories.¬† I would hope that she did at least convincingly pretend to like them because it’s kind of cold to tell an eight year old how much they suck.¬† I can also remember in that same class the moment when Allison Fay read her story to the class and I listened¬†and my heart sank because it was so much better than mine.¬† This was the doubt that has stuck with me ever since.¬† The doubt that, though I enjoy the freedom of words and imagery, I might just suck at it.

BUT!!!¬† The moment when you know that you have a story that you can be proud of-¬†that is exceptional.¬† Poo on anyone elses opinion even if it is only others opinions that make a written work successful.¬† In high school, the Virginia years, I went to a summer writers workshop at the UVA campus in Charlottesville and began to “experiment” with my short story writing.¬† I wrote an untitled piece in which the protagonist is making dinner and retreats into her own head where she is having a conversation with the man who lives there.¬† He represents the archetypal antagonist for any teenager- lover, father, friend, foe, etc……¬† and the only way that she could escape was to plunge her hand into a boiling pot of water.¬†

OK- so it’s trite, I was 16.¬† The quirk was that I didn’t use any He/She identifier.¬† One characters dialogue was italicized and the others was bolded.¬† This story was one of the most intense things that I’d written and read like a suicide note, but I was so enamored of my own ability that I actually wanted to submit it to literary magazines and try to get published.¬† That never happened.¬† My ex-step father accidentally erased the disk that I had saved the story on and I didn’t have a hard copy.¬† I guess that it’s¬†a mix of happiness and heartbreak, but writing that piece was the most alive I have felt and I sincerely hope to reclaim that one of these days.

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Exercise #15

Sunday, Sunday, Sunday!¬† And I’m still upset about the Ghanaian¬†defeat of the US Soccer team yesterday, but at least we made it farther than we have in decades, so I’m happy about that.¬† So let’s just call it that ambivalent Sunday.¬† In honor of this day- it is time for the next exercise ūüėÄ

Exercise #15-  Write about the best date you ever had.

This is a bit difficult because I’ve never really dated.¬† If you want to get technical, I’ve never had a boyfriend for more than a month.¬† Don’t get me wrong-¬†I’ve been involved with a couple of guys for longer than that, but never as boyfriend and girlfriend.¬† It was always in some gray area state where my eternal fear of commitment was never challenged, but that always puts my fatalistic nature that it will end on edge.¬† Soooo-¬†I guess it’s a self-fulfilling prophecy of sorts.¬†

Don’t get me wrong-¬†I’m a VERY picky person (to the point of absurdity), but I will usually be the one to end the tryst, for whatever reason.¬† I am OK with admitting that my last relationship ended because I lost interest¬†and he didn’t meet the timelines that I had put to certain things, like not being involved with his “Ex”, and no I didn’t publicise that these things were in my head because I don’t honestly think that I saw the relationship going very far.¬† Call me callous, that’s fine, but I do know what I don’t want- and that outweighed the benefits to continuing, so I ended it.¬† Don’t feel too bad for him, though, he wasn’t alone for very long ūüėÄ

So, the best date that I’ve ever been on………¬† It doesn’t have a basis in reality.¬† Here is what a good date is in my own head.¬† First and foremost, he asked me out.¬† I think that it would be fun to do this at some sort of festival or concert or a place that would have something fun to do.¬† I’m not the kind of girl who enjoys going rock climbing or anything, but I’m OK with a day of light hiking and a picnic.¬† One of my favorite places in the DC area is the Virginia side of the Great Falls National Park, where all of the trail and the old canals are located.

We would have a really fun, light, and relaxing time, but most importantly-¬†there would be SPARKS!!¬† I am definitely¬†the kind of girl who is looking for a spark and if I spend time with a guy and there just isn’t any interest, then I am not likely to be interested¬†in a romantic relationship, but if we have fun-¬†I won’t lose his number ūüėȬ† So, we’ve had a great day, a nice picnic, we’ve talked and gotten to know each other, and I am really attracted to him.¬† If this is a first date, then I would go home and dish to A and Mrs. Batty, if this is a second date-¬†then I would hope he had something more planned than hiking and a picnic, and if this is a thrid date, well- it’s not that kind of blog THANK YOU!

In other words-¬†I’m not really all that picky, but I do require that a date should be fun.¬† I don’t want a guy all over me, but I also don’t want a guy checking out some other girl.¬† I guess that this is probably just like every other girls contemplations and pretty vague, but considering that I’ve really never done that many trial runs-¬†it will have to do.¬† I hope that Mrs. Batty has something more than I do because me and dating is really, quite lame…….

Dream Symbology

Happy Wednesday One and All!

So, I have been trying to do some deep breathing exercises before bed to clear my head and attempt to begin meditating again (I’ve put it by the wayside for too long). In my search for some sources to aid in my interpretation, I found a couple of websites by Avia¬†Venifica¬†that are super informative and pretty cool- so check them out, I’ve added them to the blogroll and sites I like section.

The dream/meditation.

The meditation method that I use is very much a mix of Chakric¬†and deep breathing.¬† I start with breathing in on a four count and out on a four count, while concentrating¬†on relaxing the entire body from the tips of the toes and fingers to the core.¬† For me, the core is right about where my spleen is sooo, probably not the “correct” center, but it’s mine anyway.¬† As I feel my body relax, I will also feel my breathing get slower-¬†this is probably also a good method for getting to sleep if you’ve been having trouble-¬†and at that point I will focus on the anja chakra, the third eye, and see where it takes me.

I’ve done this for two nights in a row now and the first night I was trying really hard to get back to the serene glad by the stream that I used to be able to find, and oddly do the same meditation within the meditative¬†state (weird, I know), but I couldn’t find it.¬† I did, however, find myself in a cave.¬† There was light that resembled having torches burning in brackets on the wall, but I saw no actual¬†torches.¬† There was a dark blurred figure down the tunnel and I was moving toward it when I saw an altar carved into the wall to my right side.¬† The altar was well-lit¬†and I took on of the torches, that I didn’t see until it was in my hand, and used it to follow the figure.¬† The only thing that I could see was the image of the King of Swords from my Herbal tarot deck and then I came to a larger room and the figure was at the other side of the room, but I couldn’t get to it- it was like there was an invisible wall stopping me from getting close enough to see a face or anything more than blurry blackness.

After a little while of trying to get to the figure, I turned around and left the cave to find myself in an old growth pine forest¬†at dusk.¬† From there- I was sped out of my own head when some jerk in the parking lot set off his car alarm and I went to sleep.¬† Had weird dreams too, but I wasn’t smart enough to write them down when I woke up.

Last night, I wanted to try to¬†get back to the cave and find out what the hell my brain was trying to say. SO I focused on that image of the King of Swords to speed up the journey and I got back to the cave pretty easily, but I didn’t get back to the room where the dark figure was.¬† I was stopped at the altar and there were now items on it.¬† on the shelf, there were three cards-¬†the Queen of Cups on the far left, the King of Swords in the middle, and the Queen of Pentacles on the¬†far right (all from the herbal tarot).¬† On the wall above the shelf there was hung a simple wooded crucifix in a beautiful shade of blue and carved in to this were all of the religious symbols that I’ve ever seen in my life-¬†star of david, pentacle, ankh, eye of horus, flying spaghetti¬†monster, etc… Yes even the ridiculous.¬† As I concentrated on the altar, it began to change-¬†green vines grew all around the arched top of the wall and around the sides with jasmine¬†flowers in full bloom.¬† I couldn’t smell jasmine- I just knew that this was the name of the flower.

I then concentrated on the cards and it was like that concentration was a battle between them.¬† Ultimatly, as I felt I was looking at the two queens the way you’d watch a tennis match, the Queen of Pentacle turned brown and shriveled¬†up and the Queen of Cups was victorious, but now wrapped in a white-hot sterling silver chain that had very low flames running all along it.¬† The fire died, but I could tell it was hot and wrapped around the Queen (which I’d identified as my card) and running directly to the card of the King of Sword, being held in the image’s hand.¬† I tried to blow on the chain and cool it down in order to pick the card up, but it would just flame up and create a barrier between me and it.¬† At that point, a bright light from outside shook me out of it and I figured that it was time to go to bed.

So, I am now awake and will probably try again tonight, but would love to take any interpretive suggestions you may have because I’m confused.

Exercise #14

Exercise 14:  Randomly select an object from the room you’re in and write about it. Include its physical description and any memories associated with the object.

The carry on suitcase, still unpacked, on my living room floor.

This little wheeled black carry on with a gray arch along the top of the front pocket was the first suitcase that I’d gotten for myself.¬† Yet, it sits here, filled with clothing that needs to go to the laundromat¬†(mostly socks I must admit) and longing for its next¬†trip.¬† My suitcase has felt very anemic for the past five years or so and hasn’t seen more than 5 planes for its troubles.¬†

It was a small part of a humble 4 piece luggage set from Target and it’s sleek black cloth wrapping was so smart that it knew itself to be the best piece for a great weekend jaunt to California or Miami and it has met the challenges that a confirmed enemy of checked baggage has provided.¬† It’s been crammed in to overhead bins and rolled through wet streets, and ice-covered sidewalks, like the champion travel companion that it is.

Now, it is alone and left to the side of the room, its only companion is my cat, Piper, who adores it as one of her favorite places to nap even though it is at ground level.¬† She especially likes when the zipper is undone so that the clothing is the bed cushion¬†and she can contort her head into the siding of the case with one paw over her eyes.¬† This plucky little travel case is just biding its time, awaiting another journey patiently in its spot¬†on the carpet as Piper purrs away-¬†thinking that she’d found the best cat bed in the world.¬† At least it saves my comforter a little bit of trouble being covered in her fur.

The joy of re-posting!

With a big thanks to Chris Isidore, senior writer at CNN Money.com, and yahoo.com for putting this on the front page I will do my first re-post and pray not to get any nasty grams from someone in the copyright offices ūüėȬ†

Having been in the job hunting business for a little less than a year now, I find this very disturbing.¬† It is just as stupid as the author says it is, ESPECIALLY in a job market where many highly qualified people are finding themselves out of work.¬† Now, it isn’t an incorrect supposition that if a company though of you as an asset, that they would have figured out a way not to lay you off, but that logic completely ignores that fact that companies are not sentient beings.¬†

The current corporate world is finding itself back in a place where it’s not about what you know, but who you know.¬† Where the executive team of any business is forced to make cuts, for whatever reason, it must be assumed that they are only human and that their perception of any given employee is taken in to account.¬† So, in a situation where all things are equal-¬†they will make the decision that they feel is best for the overall team and that typically means getting rid of the people that they don’t feel get along with everyone and can be replaced by those already in the organization.¬† This may seem unfair, but I’d like to think that we have got to see things realistically and not just through rose-colored glasses where peoples hands are tied by laws and standards.

Corporate standards are not civil rights and you’ve got to remember that a for profit business will do what it feels is best for its bottom¬†line-¬†why else does it exist?¬† Anyway- without further contemplation from me, I give you Chris Isidore’s article.¬† Enjoy!

http://finance.yahoo.com/news/Outofwork-job-applicants-told-cnnm-3498252371.html?x=0

Exercise #13

The weekend is ending, but not to worry-¬†the summer is here and so are all of the fun activities that this entails.¬† There are people on the mall playing softball, kickball, ultimate frisbee, and there was even the collegiate seven’s tournament on NBC yesterday-¬†So I’ve been a happy little camper.¬† No, I don’t participate in the sports, I’ve never been very athletic, but there is something comforting about the fact that others are out there enjoying the sun and the heat.¬† On that note- it is time to deliver the next exercise!

Exercise #13- Describe the view from your window

Though the days have been sunny for a little while now, today has given us a tornado warning and the clouds are covering the blue sky with their gray woolen¬†feeling.¬† I can see the trees swaying with the wind as it picks up speed in front of the impending storm, but for the moment, it is calm.¬† The multitudes of squirrels that run rampant through my neighborhood don’t seem to be bothered with the weather as they are still running through the grass and chasing each other, as squirrels do.¬† The birds are foraging through the grass and my cats follow them from one window to the next, though I know that they would be terrified if they should face these creatures without the protection of the screen.

Aside from the gray sky, the rest of the world outside of my window is very green.  I live in a very plant covered suburb of Washington, DC, so there are trees everywhere and since my apartment is on the ground floor and semi buried, my eye line is even with the ground and the view is obstructed by a semi-think bush hedge.  I like that hedge and the privacy it affords me.  I can be as much or as little a part of the outside world as I feel like being that day with the cover of that hedge.  I did miss it during the winter moths when it had gotten flattened by a large snow bank.  It has recovered and is strong and growing once more- might be a metaphor, right?!