I had a strange dream the other morning. It was one of those things that happens after you’ve first woken up and before you’ve fully woken up- for me, usually between the hours of 4am and 9am.
I had just moved out of my current apartment (I think) and my mother had given me an ultimatum that I would have to work for some vendor. The setting is a bed and breakfast or farm, I’m not sure which, and I was in the staff kitchen. It was one of those places where the staff live on property and though I’m not a member of the staff, I’m still living there so I’m going to assume that my mother is running the place. I got the vibe of an 80’s summer vacation movie where the “gang” has to save a local business from closing, but ehh.
So I was in the kitchen and then I was rifling around in some straw and grabbing rats. I’m really not sure what I was dreaming about, but it’s been stuck in my head for nearly a week now. The last time that I had a dream that stuck with me this long and sat in my tummy like a lead weight was in 2003 and I had a horrible dream that my Grandmother was going to be hit by a taxi in London. The feeling in my tummy didn’t go away until I was walking back to my mom’s house in London and I saw a poor old man who’d been hit by a taxi under the street lamp from my dream.
So, that begs the question- will I be thinking about this until I’m catching rats in a barn? Who knows- it’s just weird.
I have decided to over use the ellipsis in this posts title, so for all of you proof readers out there- know that I’ve done so willingly! It’s been a long week. My neck is hurting and I’ve no idea why (I suspect that my pillows are done for) and I’ve spent 2 days helping a friend clean up a pretty darn nasty house so that she and her family can move into it in two days.
Work is going well. I’ve been there since October and I’m being promoted from a part time sales associate to a department manager- it’s a nice confidence builder. In the same turn, I’ve got a really good “potential” job offer that is in no way definite hanging in the ether and if it does happen it would move me out of the country. My mother keeps telling me that 2011 will be a much better year than last year and I can’t disagree with her, but I hesitate to get my hopes up.
This year has started out with hopes that have thus far gone unfulfilled (very politely I might add). I’ve joined a philanthropic organization and that is really nice and I’m getting promoted, so that’s in the positive category. In the negative realm, my father has been diagnosed with Lymphoma and is currently undergoing Chemo therapy treatments. The prognosis is positive, but there is the unnamed random illness that he’s been battling for the past 5 years that might rear it’s ugly head that the doctors don’t seem to be worried about.
I still feel like I’m walking the edge of a cliff and that a strong wind will blow me off if I’m not diligent, but I’m so tired. Is this what our grandparents felt like during the great depression? Was it a battle to just live?
I found myself wondering this morning why we, as a world, haven’t learned the lessons of history. We’ve had philosophers and brilliant people saying ad nauseum that the human race goes in circles and that we are doomed to repeat our mistakes- well, we are proving this theorem right every day. Genocide, starvation, exploitation, depravity- we simply find more creative ways to mask these, to call them something less offensive and make it easier for the masses to deny that this is what is going on.
The trailer for the new Atlas Shrugged movie came across my computer screen this evening and I’m very excited that it’s finally being made. For all of her incredible hypocrisy, Ayn Rand made a very good point in her novel. Those who cannot will always try to exploit those who can. Let’s see if anyone actually cares anymore.