I’ve been told many times over the past 3 months to “keep the forward momentum” going and everything will work out. Sounds a bit vague- right?! I hadn’t really thought about it as more than a metaphor until last night. I went to dinner and saw a movie with a friend of mine and on the way home I was driving down the highway in the dark of night and for a hot second I didn’t know if I was going the right way and I didn’t care. It was as though, sitting in my car, listening to the same band I’ve been listening to for the past 3 weeks on my Ipod, it didn’t matter that the world was falling apart because I was driving somewhere.
This isn’t the first time that I’ve noticed that penchant for aimless driving- I’ve done it ever since I was 16. I hadn’t noticed that it seems to comfort me because it simulates having a purpose in my warped little brain. I’ve going somewhere, and I obviously must be doing something when I get there- right? What is forward momentum anyway? I keep remembering the episode of the X-files where some sonic weapon was being tested in the desert and people had to drive and drive at ridiculous speeds heading west or their heads would explode. Maybe that’s what this feels like. Sadly, moving west doesn’t seem to be an option yet, though I do think I’d have a better shot at a social life in San Diego.