Ghosts in My Head

I cannot deny that I’m haunted.  There are many people on my mind at all times, but they all have this habit of speaking simultaneously and this makes deciphering what is being said very difficult.  My dream at this moment is to be able to sit them down, one by one, and truly sit with them and let them speak.  It seems to be the only way for me to head and communicate what they are saying effectively enough to tell the entire story that is being conveyed.

One of the quietest of them is Celeste.  She truly needs to speak up more, but it just is not in her nature to be forceful.  This beautiful, flame haired warrior is constantly under estimating herself and every time that I try to figure out why, she will only tell me that it’s just the way that she is.  Celeste doesn’t feel like she is important enough to scream at me from the roof tops and so will stand aside for the more boisterous of the group to finish speaking before she says anything and even then- she’s the queen of the short, sweet, and insightful answer.  And though I appreciate her ability to cut through all of the BS and help me to understand what I need to know and not what I want to know- it doesn’t help me to tell her story.  I get the feeling that she is fighting me because she doesn’t want her own story told.  She also doesn’t want me anywhere near her husband, Tony, or her daughter, Rose, in order to get an idea of their roles in the battle.  I know that Rose was a key player, but nobody is talking.

James has been a very easy person to hear.  He’s very open, but is constantly trying to make amends for his role in this tale- a little desperate to explain what happened.  I get the impression that this is mostly for Anca’s benefit, apparently he’s asked her to marry him now that everything is done, but she’s not forgiven him.  The two of them are very guarded and it doesn’t help that he’s been very protective of her, so I have not been able to get a clear idea of how complicit she was in his initial plan to help Sam Hain invade the town.  Underneath it all, James is where he was meant to be and is a good person.  He sacrificed an enormous amount, while leading an army of spirits in the battle against Riordan, but he seems to have come by all of his good intentions just a little short in her eyes.

Everyone in town has been a part of this cacophony of a tale that I’ve been hearing, but they are all trying to talk over each other and I cannot tell what their tiny individual contributions were and, of course, they all seem to want to tell me how they came to meet Shawn and discover the town.  Shawn, another problem child.  He has been a hard egg to crack, not only because he can see me coming, but because his only comments to date have been objections to my meddling.  Trying to convince him that the world needs to know what has transpired is like banging my head against a wall- he’s so damned stubborn.  I understand that he’s finally found peace and that, with the conditions of his curse met, he is finally free after so long, but I can’t believe that he doesn’t want the lessons so hard learned to be passed on.  Brennan hasn’t been any help in this, either.  She has been even quieter than Celeste, but on occasion, she’ll reminisce and I’ll be nearby with my pen.  She still has yet to speak about being raised in Riordan’s family and she spends a lot of time going back and forth to the coast to visit her mother and brother, so I have had a devil of a time nailing her down.  And again, Shawn is very protective of her privacy and can see me coming, so he’ll catch me up long enough for her to get away.  Sometimes telepaths can be so irritating!!

Amelia was a dream to sit with.  Her tea was divine and she was a fount of knowledge!  She’d made a career of being an Historian and was the foremost expert on the nature and history of the Power Sources, but she died so early in the battle that she cannot fill in the gaps.  It’s the same with all of the other Council members- they are open books, but they passed before the battle truly began and they are very clear that this was as the Source had planned.  They believe that Celeste, Brennan, and Shawn would not have been successful had they all been around to second guess their decisions- for better or worse.  It’s all very fatalistic, quite frankly.

Ultimately, in the din, the most deafening silence has been that of the town itself.  When I decided to try to put pen to paper to convey the trials and tribulations- the successes and failures of this monumental battle, I secretly hoped that the Source would permit me to enter the cavern and hear the truth first hand, but that has yet to happen.  It’s been an uphill battle, and I’m not giving up, but I implore the voices in my head- Take a number and come prepared to talk!!

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